Championship Predictions & Championship Betting Tips

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0→x 1 11th 15th 18th 19th 1mm 1v1 2 23542th 2416363 3 310what 3cm 3way️️ 46th 4blade 4x 500 520jesus️ 5clock 6th 9il above accept acting addition adult afghanistan african afternoon agree ai air airport al alarm alcohol alert always america american and angel anger angry animal annoyed answer ant antarctica apple application applied apply ar15 architect arm arrest‍️ arrest‍️‍️‍️ arrow️️ arrow️️️ arrow️️️️️ art artist asian ass attack au australia aw award awareness awesome baby back️ back️️ back️️️ bad bag balance‍️ balance‍️‍️ balls ban banana bank bar barbecue baseball basic basketball bath bathroom battery bby bear beauty because bed beef beer beers belgium bell best bet betting bi bikini bill billions bills bin bird birthday bitch blade blessed blind blind‍ blonde‍️ blonde‍️‍️ blonde‍️‍️‍️ blood blown blue‍️ blue‍️‍️ blue‍️‍️‍️ boarding boi book books boom boot border bored born bottle bottom bowl box boy boys brain branch brand️ brand️️️ brass bread break breakfast bride britain british‍️ british‍️‍️ british‍️‍️‍️ bro broccoli broken brown buck bug building buildings build‍️ build‍️‍️ build‍️‍️‍️ built‍️ built‍️‍️ built‍️‍️‍️ bureau bus bush business‍ business‍‍‍ button buy b️ b️️ b️️️ cactus cake calculation calling camera cancer candy car cardboard career carnival carolina carrot cars cary cash cat cats cause cause” celebration central century chad chains change changed characters cheese chicken child children‍ children‍‍ children‍‍‍ chili china chinese chips chocolate christ christmas️️ christmas️️️ church cigarette circle city clap clean cleaning click clothes cloud️ cloud️️️ cn co coat cock coconut code coffee cold college communication compensation computer concern congrats connection consider construction‍️ consultant continue cook cool copyright️️ countdown country couple court‍️‍️ cow crab crazy create creature crossing crush cry crying culture cupid custom cut cz dad daddy dam dance dance” dancing danger dank dark data date dating de dead deadly deadpan death deer degree delete delicious demon denied deny depressed desert design despise dessert developed‍‍ developed‍‍‍ developer‍‍ developing‍‍‍ develop‍ devil diagonal️ diamond diamonds️️️ dick dicks die ding direction disabled disappointed disbelief disco disease dislike display dj dk dm doctor‍️ doctor‍️‍️ doctor‍️‍️‍️ documents dog dollar dolphin dominican donate door doubt dove down dragon drama draw dream dress drink drip driving drug dutch ear early earth east eat economic economy education ee egg eight elder elephant embarrassed embarrassing emergency emoji emojis employees empty end energy enforcement‍️ england enter️ enter️️ enter️️️ environment epic er error et euro european evening event evil exam exclamation exercise exit exit” experience explode explosion express eye eyes face fail failure fall family fancy fart fashion fast father favorite fearful feet‍️ feet‍️‍️ feet‍️‍️‍️ female fencing fighting filing film films financial find finger fingers fire fireworks first fish fist five flag flame flight floor flower flowers flushed fly food football formula fortnite forward four fr frame free french fresh friend friendship fries frozen fruit fuck fucked fucker fucking fuk full fun funeral funny future ga game games garbage gas gay️‍ gay️‍️‍ gay️‍️‍️‍ gem gender general gentleman german get gf gift girl girls git giết giờ glad glass globe gloves goat good goodbye good” goofy gorilla government grasp graveyard great green grimace grinning gross group guinea guitar gun gust guy guy… haha hair halloween hamburger hammer hand hands hands’ happiness️ happy hash️⃣️⃣ hat hate have head health healthy hear heart hearts️️ heaven hedgehog heis helicopter hello help here hey hi high highway him‍ hipster‍️ history hit hobby hoe hoes hole home homosexual️‍ honey hoot hope horns horse hospital hot house houses how hr hug hugs huh human hundred hurricane hurt i id idea idiot idiots ikea ill increase india industry info information injured innocent instrument intelligent interest interested international internet invest invested ip️ ip️️ is islam islamic island isle issue️ issue️️ issue️️️ italy ive i‘ve i’d i’ll i’ve japan japanese jar jaws jazz je jeans jesus️ jesus️️ jesus️️️ jewish job join joint joy jump justice‍️ karate key kfc kg kick kid kids kill kills king kingdom kiss kissing kitchen knew knife know knowing knowledge knows koala kong label labor‍️‍️‍️ lady language laptop‍‍‍ late laugh laughing launch law‍️ law‍️‍️ leader learn leaves left legal‍️ legal‍️‍️ legal‍️‍️‍️ legend lemon length lesbian️‍️‍️‍ less letter️ letter️️ letter️️️ li library lie lie” life light lightning like limbs limit line️ line️️ link lips liquid listen literature load location lock lol look look… loop lord losing lost loud love lt luck lucky lunch mac machine mad maggot magic male man manager‍ manager‍‍ manager‍‍‍ man” mark marriage mask master math mc52 mcdonalds mcdonald’s meal mean meat mega melon meme memes men men’s meow message metal mexican microphone middle midnight military milk mind minor mm moai mom mom” money monitor monkey monster month️ month️️ month️️️ moon️️ moon️️️ more morning morocco mother motorcycle mountain mouse mouth movie moving mr music mắt nail nation nature neck nervous never new next nigga niggas night nine no noise noon nope north northern nose note notes nothing notification numbers nurse‍️ nurse‍️‍️ nursing nut obtain ocean office ok okay ok… old ole omg on one one️hour open orange order other out package pair panda paper parents parent‍ parking️️ parking️️️ party pass pause pay payment peace peach peehle pen people percent perfect person philippines phone photo physics pick pie pig pineapple pink pizza place planet plane‍️‍️ plane‍️‍️‍️ planning plant play please please” podcast point poison poisoned police‍️ police‍️‍️ police‍️‍️‍️ pool poop pork potty pound power practice praise pray present president press previous️ previous️️ previous️️️ price pride princess privacy problem️ problem️️ problem️️️ program programming proud pub public pumpkin puppy purchase push pussy queen queer️‍️‍ question quick11 quirky quit rabbit race‍️ race‍️‍️ race‍️‍️‍️ rage rain rainbow raised ran random rat razor read record recording red reddit registered️ registered️️ relax relief religion remove rest restaurant return️️ rice rich right ring rings rip️️️ road robot rocket‍ rocket‍‍ rocket‍‍‍ rock‍️ rock‍️‍️ rock‍️‍️‍️ rodent roll rose round royalty rude rules run running‍️ running‍️‍️ rush russian sad sake sale sales sand sandwich santa satellite satisfied save say scale scared scary school science scissors️ scissors️️️ score scream screen scribble️ scroll season️ season️️️ seat second secret security see serious servers service seven shake shape️ shape️️ shape️️️ shape️️️️️ shave shell shield shiny shiny… ship‍️ ship‍️‍️ ship‍️‍️‍️ shirt shit shitpost shit” shock shoot shopping shot show shower shy sick sideways️ sideways️️ sight sign signal silence silent silk silly sing sir sit six skull sky sleep sleeping slow smart smell smile smoke smoke” smoking smug snack snake sneeze sniff sniper snow snowman soda software‍ software‍‍ software‍‍‍ soon sorcerer‍️ sorry sound soup south space‍ space‍‍ space‍‍‍ speak speaking spear special speech speed spent spicy spider spin spiral spoke spooky️ spooky️️ spooky️️️ sports spy️‍️️‍️ squid stadium stage star starbucks4 stare starry stars start states station steps‍️‍️‍️ stone stop strong student study stuffed stunned style subreddit suck sucking sucks suits️️️ sum summer sun support surprise surprised sweat sweden sweet swift swimming sword symbols symphony tag talk target tea teach team tears technology teenager teeth telephone️️️ television tell telling temperature tennis terrified test testé text thank thanks theater things think thinking this this” three tickets tiger time tired titanic to toddler toilet tomato tone tongue top tornado toy tracking train training️‍️ training️‍️️‍️ training️‍️️‍️️‍️ tram trash travel tree triangle triumph truck tsunami tube turd turkey tv twisted twitter️⃣️⃣ twitter️⃣️⃣️⃣ two type tấn u ukraine uk‍️ uncle underage union united up upset ur usa user v vacation vehicle victory video viet vietnam view violence virgin vomit vortex vs và wait wake walking‍️ walking‍️‍️ walking‍️‍️‍️ want wanted wanting warm warning watch water wave wax way️ way️️ way️️️ wealthy weapon weather website weed weight weird western wet what wheelchair when where whine who whoa why wifi wild win wind wings winning winter wish witch‍️‍️ witch‍️‍️‍️ woman women womens woof words work worker‍️‍️ working world worm worried worship worst wow wrench‍‍‍ write writing x yea yeah yellow yes yo yoga‍️ yoga‍️‍️ you young your yours yum zen‍️‍️ zero ʃx ‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍ ‍️ ‍️‍‍ ‍️‍️buuuut… ‘out “ass “bless “bread” “good “hey “huh “i “i’ll “look “man “shit “up “why ↓ ╚═███═╝ ️ ️although ️‍ ️‍️ ️⃣ ️️ ️️️ � 𝓼𝓱𝓾𝓽 𝓾𝓹
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More words detected by u/emoji-fier

0→x 1 10 11 11th 128gb‍️‍️‍️ 12cm 15th 18th 1938message 19th 1b️️️ 1kg 1mm 1v1 2 20th 216 23542th 2416363 2x 2️‍ 3 300kg 310what 354 3cm 3way️️ 3️‍️‍ 4 400lb 46th 4blade 4th 4x 4️‍️‍️‍ 4️️ 5 500 50cm 50x 520jesus️ 556 5clock 5th 6th 7th 80gb‍️‍️ 80gb‍️‍️‍️ 8th 999th 9il 9th abandon above accept acting addition adult aesthetic afghanistan africa african afternoon agree agreement ai air airport al alarm alcohol alert alien always ambulance america american ancient and angel anger angry animal announcement annoyed answer ant antarctica ao applause apple application applied apply applying ar15 architect arm army arrest‍️ arrest‍️‍️ arrest‍️‍️‍️ arrow️️ arrow️️️ arrow️️️️️ art artist ashes asia asian ass astrology athlete‍️ atm attack au australia austria aw award awareness awesome ay az b130️️️ baby back️ back️️ back️️️ bacon bad badge bag balance‍️ balance‍️‍️ balance‍️‍️‍️ ball balloon balls ban banana bank bar barbecue bars baseball basic basketball bat bath bathroom bathtub battery battle️️ battle️️️️ battle️️️️️️ bby beach bear beauty because bed beef beer beers bees beetle belgium belize bell best bet betting beverage bg bi bikini bill billions bills bin bird birthday bisexual️‍️‍ bitch bitches blade bless blessed blind blind‍ blonde‍️ blonde‍️‍️ blonde‍️‍️‍️ blood blown blues bluetooth blue‍️ blue‍️‍️ blue‍️‍️‍️ bo boarding boat boi bomb bomb’ book books boom boot booze border bored born bosnia bot bottle bottom bought bowl box boy boys boy’s brain branch brand️ brand️️ brand️️️ brass brazil bread break breakfast bride britain british‍️ british‍️‍️ british‍️‍️‍️ bro broadcast broccoli broken brown buck bug building buildings build‍️ build‍️‍️ build‍️‍️‍️ build‍️‍️‍️‍️ built‍️ built‍️‍️ built‍️‍️‍️ built‍️‍️‍️‍️ built‍️‍️‍️‍️‍️‍️ bulb bulgaria bullshit bunny bureau burrito bus bush business‍ business‍‍ business‍‍‍ business‍‍‍‍‍‍ butterfly button buy b️ b️️ b️️️ b️️️️ b️️️️️️ ca cactus cake cal calculate calculation calling camel camera canada cancel cancer candy cannot cant can’t cap car cardboard cards career carnival carolina carrot cars cary cash casual cat cats cat’s cause cause” cayman celebrate celebration central century cereal ceremony ch chad chains champagne change changed characters charger cheese cheeseburger chef‍‍‍ chemistry chicken child childish children‍ children‍‍ children‍‍‍ children‍‍‍‍‍ chili chill china chinese chips chocolate christ christianity christmas️ christmas️️ christmas️️️ christmas️️️️ chugoku church cigarette cinema circle city clap classroom clean cleaning click clock cloth clothes cloudy cloud️ cloud️️️ cloud️️️️️ cm cn co coast coat cock cocktail coconut code coding coffee cog cold college colors comet comment️ comment️️ comment️️️ communication compensation computer concern confirm️️️ confused congrats congratulations connection consider console construction‍️ construction‍️‍️ consultant container continue convert cook cookie cooking cool copyright️️ copyright️️️ countdown country couple court‍️‍️ court‍️‍️‍️‍️ covid19 cow cow” co² crab crazy create creativity creature creepy cricket crossing cruise crush cry crying crystal cs cu culture cummies cummy cumreview cupid cupped curious cursing cussing custom cut cz dad daddy dam dance dance” dancing danger dank dark dart dash data date dating dawn de dead deadly deadpan death december deer degree delete deleted️ delicious demon denied denmark deny depressed desert design despise dessert destination detective️‍️ developed‍ developed‍‍ developed‍‍‍ developed‍‍‍‍ developed‍‍‍‍‍ developer‍‍ developer‍‍‍ developing‍ developing‍‍ developing‍‍‍ developing‍‍‍‍‍ develop‍ develop‍‍ develop‍‍‍ devil diagonal️ diagonal️️️ diamond diamonds️️️ diamonds️️️️ dick dicks die dig dildo dildos ding dinner dinosaur direction disabled disappointed disbelief disco disease dislike display divide diy dj dk dm doctor‍️ doctor‍️‍️ doctor‍️‍️‍️ doctor‍️‍️‍️‍️ doctor‍️‍️‍️‍️‍️ documents dog doge dollar dollars dolls dolphin dominican donate door dork doubt dove down dragon drama draw drawing dream dress drink drip driving drizzle drug drugs drum drunk dumb dusk dutch dvd eagle ear early earth east eat economic economy education ee egg eight elder electricity elephant email embarrassed embarrassing emergency emoji emojis employees empty end energy enforcement‍️ enforcement‍️‍️‍️‍️ engagement engineer‍ england english enter️ enter️️ enter️️️ enter️️️️ entrance environment epic er error et euro european evening event evil exam exclamation exercise exit exit” experience experiment explode explosion express extinct eye eyes face factory fail failure fall family fancy farming fart fashion fast father favorite fax fearful feet‍️ feet‍️‍️ feet‍️‍️‍️ feet‍️‍️‍️‍️ feet‍️‍️‍️‍️‍️‍️ female fencing fighting filing film films financial find finger fingers fire fireworks first fish fist five fix flag flame flex flight flipping floor flower flowers flu flushed fly fog food football forbidden formal formula fortnite forward four fr frame france free french fresh friend friendship fries frozen fruit fuck fucked fucker fuckers fucking fuck— fuk full fun funeral funny future ga gamble game games garbage gas gay️‍ gay️‍️‍ gay️‍️‍️‍ ge gear gem gender general gentleman genuinely german get gf gift girl girlfriend girls git giết giờ glad glass globe gloves goat goblin going gold golf good goodbye good” goofy gorilla government graduate‍‍ grasp grass graveyard great green grimace grinning groceries gross group guess guinea guitar gun gun” gust guy guy… haha haha” hair hall halloween halo hamburger hammer hand hands hands’ happiness️ happiness️️ happiness️️️ happy hard hard” hash️⃣️⃣ hat hate have head headphones health healthcare‍️ healthy hear heart heartbreak hearts️ hearts️️ heaven hedgehog heis helicopter hello help herb here here” herzegovina hey hi high highway hilarious him‍ hippie hipster‍️ hipster‍️‍️ history hit ho hobby hoe hoes hole home homosexual️‍ homosexual️‍️‍ honey hoot hope horn horns horse hospital hot hotdog hotel house houses how how12 hr hug hugs huh human hundred hurricane hurt i icon id idea idiot idiots ie ikea ill increase india indian‍️ industrial‍ industrial‍‍ industrial‍‍‍ industry info information injured ink innocent insect instrument insulting intelligent interest interested international internet interstate into️ into️️ into️️️ invest invested iphone ip️ ip️️ iraq is islam islamic island islands isle israel iss issue️ issue️️ issue️️️ italian italy ive i‘ve i’d i’ll i’ve jacket japan japanese jar jaws jazz je jeans jesus️ jesus️️ jesus️️️ jewish job join joint jordan joy jump justice‍️ justice‍️‍️‍️ kanye karate kawaii kek kevin key keyboard kfc kg ki kick kid kids kill killer kills king kingdom kiss kissing kiss— kitchen kitten knew knife know knowing knowledge knows koala kong korea label labor‍️ labor‍️‍️ labor‍️‍️‍️ lady landing language laptop‍ laptop‍‍ laptop‍‍‍ late laugh laughing launch lawn lawrence law‍️ law‍️‍️ law‍️‍️‍️ lb leader learn learn’ leaves leave‍️ leave‍️‍️ leave‍️‍️‍️ left leftovers legal‍️ legal‍️‍️ legal‍️‍️‍️ legend lemon length leone lesbian️‍ lesbian️‍️‍ lesbian️‍️‍️‍ less letter️ letter️️ letter️️️ lettuce lgbt️‍ lgbt️‍️‍ lgbt️‍️‍️‍ li library license️ lie lies lie” life life️ light lightning like likes limbs limit line️ line️️ line️️️ link lips liquid liquor listen literature lmao load location lock lol lollipop look look… loop lord loser losing lost loud love lt luck lucky lunch lv100 mac machine mad maggot magic mail male mall man manager‍ manager‍‍ manager‍‍‍ man” map mark marriage mask massage️ master math mc52 mcdonalds mcdonald’s meal mean meat medicine mega meh melon meme memes memo men men’s meow message messages metal metro mexican mexico mg microphone midday middle midnight milestone military milk mind minor mm moai mom mom” money mongols mongolsbetter monitor monkey monster month️ month️️ month️️️ moo moon moon️️ moon️️️ more morning morocco mother motorcycle mountain mouse moustache mouth movie moving mr mt muscle music mute mürœ mắt nail namaste name nap nasa nation nature neck needle nemo nervous never new new” next nfl ni nigga niggas night nine ninjas no noise noon nope north northern nose note notes nothing noticed notification no” nuclear numbers nurse‍️ nurse‍️‍️ nursing nut obtain ocean octopus office oh‍️ ok okay okëî ok… old ole omg omg⁄ on one one️hour open orange order other out owl ox pa package paint painter‍ pair palm panda paper parents parent‍ parent‍‍ parent‍‍‍ parking️ parking️️ parking️️️ party pass password pasta paul pause pay paycheck payment peace peach peehle peek pen pencil people percent perfect person pet philippines phone photo physics pick pickle picture pie pig pill pineapple pink pirate pissed pistol pizza place planet plane‍️ plane‍️‍️ plane‍️‍️‍️ planning plant play please please” podcast point poison poisoned poker poland police‍️ police‍️‍️ police‍️‍️‍️ pool poop pork potato potty pouch pound power practice practicing praise prank pray prayer present presentation president press previous️ previous️️ previous️️️ price pride prime princess privacy problem️ problem️️ problem️️️ professor‍ professor‍‍ profile program programmer‍‍ programming progress propose proud pt pt3 pub public pumpkin pumps puppy purchase push pussy queen queer️‍️‍ question quick11 quiet quirky quit quiz rabbit race‍️ race‍️‍️ race‍️‍️‍️ radio rage rain rainbow raised ram ramen ran random rat razor read reading realised realized record recording recovery red reddit registered️ registered️️ relax relaxed️️️ relief relieved religion religion” religious remove repeat republic rest restaurant restricted return️ return️️ return️️️ reunion revolver rice rich right ring rings rip️ rip️️ rip️️️ road roar robot rocket‍ rocket‍‍ rocket‍‍‍ rock‍️ rock‍️‍️ rock‍️‍️‍️ rodent rofl roll rolling rose round royalty rs rude rules run running‍️ running‍️‍️ running‍️‍️‍️ rush russian sad sahara said️ said️️ said️️️ sake sale sales sale” san sand sandwich sandwich” santa sarcasm satan satellite satisfied save say scale scared scary schedule school science scissors️ scissors️️️ score scottish scout scream screen scribble️ scroll sea sealed search season’️ season️ season️️ season️️️ seat second secret security see seems seller senior serbia serious servers service seven sewage shake shape️ shape️️ shape️️️ shape️️️️️ shark shave sheep shell shh shhh shield shiny shiny… ship‍️ ship‍️‍️ ship‍️‍️‍️ shirt shit shitpost shit” shock shocked shoes shoot shopping shot show shower shrimp shy sick sideways️ sideways️️ sideways️️️ sierra sight sign signal silence silent silk silly silver sing sir sit six skeleton skeptics skill‍️ skull sky sleep sleeping slow smart smash smell smile smoke smoke” smoking smug snack snake sneakers sneeze sniff sniper snow snowman soccer socks soda software‍ software‍‍ software‍‍‍ somalia soon sorcerer‍️ sorry sound soup south southern space‍ space‍‍ space‍‍‍ sparkle spa‍️‍️ speak speaker speaking spear special speech speed spent spicy spider spin spiral spoke spooky️ spooky️️ spooky️️️ spoon sports spots spring spy️‍️️‍️ squid squirrel sr stadium stage stalk star starbucks starbucks4 stare starry stars start started states station steps‍️‍️ steps‍️‍️‍️ stew stone stop stopped stripes strong strong… student study stuffed stunned stupid‍️ stupid‍️‍️ stupid‍️‍️‍️ style subreddit success suck sucked sucking sucks suit suits️️️ sum summer sun sunflower sunny️ sunny️️️ sunset support surgery surprise surprised surrender sushi swearing sweat sweden sweet swift swim swimming swirl sword symbols symphony syringe taco tag taiwan talk tap tape tape” target tea teach team tears tech technology teenager teeth telephone️️️ television tell telling temperature temple tennis terrified territories territory terrorism test testé text th thank thanks theater therapist‍️ therapist‍️‍️ therapist‍️‍️‍️ things think thinking third thirst thirsty this this” thot three throne through ticket tickets tiger time tired titanic to tobacco toddler toilet tomato tone tongue tool tools top top” tornado torture️ torture️️️ toy tracking train training️‍️ training️‍️️‍️ training️‍️️‍️️‍️ tram transgender️‍️‍ transgender️‍️‍️‍ trash trash” travel tree triangle triton‍️‍️ triumph truck trump trust truth tshirt tsunami tube turd turkey turtle tv twilight twisted twitter️⃣ twitter️⃣️⃣ twitter️⃣️⃣️⃣ two type tấn u uber ukraine uk‍️ uk‍️‍️‍️ uncle unconscious undead‍️ underage underground undo️️️ unicorn union united university unlock up upset ur urban usa user v vacation vatican vegas vehicle vhs victory video videogames viet vietnam view violence violin virgin volume vomit vomiting vortex vs và vöcëë wait wake walking‍️ walking‍️‍️ walking‍️‍️‍️ want wanted wanting warm warning watch water wave wavy wax way️ way️️ way️️️ wealthy weapon weather website weed weight weird western wet whale what wheelchair when where whine who whoa wholesome️ wholesome️️ why wifi wild win win10 win7 wind wine wings wink winning winter wish witch‍️‍️ witch‍️‍️‍️ wizard‍️‍️ wolf woman women womens wont won’t woof words work worker‍️ worker‍️‍️ worker‍️‍️‍️ working work world world’ worm worried worship worst wow wrench‍‍‍ write writing x xd ye yea yeah yellow yen yes yo yoga‍️ yoga‍️‍️ you young your youre yours you’re yum yummy zap zen‍️‍️ zero zoom ʃx ‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍ ‍️ ‍️‍‍ ‍️‍️buuuut… ‘asian ‘coder’‍‍‍ ‘coding’ ‘frog’ ‘fun ‘fun’ ‘i ‘moo ‘mouse’ ‘new ‘out ‘pink “ass “bless “bread” “cock “gay”️‍️‍️‍ “good “hey “hot “how “huh “i “i’ll “look “man “meow” “ok “perfect” “shit “sir “talk “this “up “what “why “you’re ”fuck ↓ ╚═███═╝ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣤⣤⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⡿⠟⠉⠉⠉⢻⣿⣷⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ あなたは私のことを何と言ったの?私がネイビーシールズでクラスのトップを卒業したことを知ってもらいます。アルクエダで数々の秘密の襲撃に関与しており、300人以上の殺害が確認されています。私はゴリラ戦の訓練を受けており、全米軍の中で最高の狙撃兵です。あなたは私には何の役にも立たず、ただの別のターゲットです。この地球上でこれまで見られなかったような正確さで性交を一掃します、私のクソ言葉をマークします。あなたはインターネットで私にそのたわごとを言うことで逃げることができると思いますか?もう一度考えて、ファッカー。私たちが話している間、私はアメリカ中のスパイの秘密のネットワークに連絡しており、あなたのipは現在追跡されているので、嵐、うじ虫の準備をよりよくすることができます。あなたが人生と呼ぶ哀れな小さなことを一掃する嵐。お前は死んだぞ私はどこにでも、いつでもいることができ、700以上の方法であなたを殺すことができます。それは私の素手だけです。私は非武装戦闘で広範囲に訓練されているだけでなく、私は米国海兵隊の兵器全体にアクセスでき、大陸の顔からあなたの惨めなお尻を拭き取るためにそれを最大限に使用します、あなたはちょっとくそ。もしあなただけが、あなたの小さな「賢い」コメントがあなたに降りかけようとしている不誠実な報復が何であるかを知ることができたなら、たぶんあなたはあなたのクソ舌を握っていただろう。しかし、あなたはできなかったし、そうしなかったし、今やあなたは代価を払っているのだ。私はあなたのいたるところに激怒し、あなたはそれに溺れます。お前は死んだぞ、キッド️️ ️ ️although ️‍ ️‍️ ️‍️‍️‍ ️⃣ ️️ ️️️ � 𝓼𝓱𝓾𝓽 𝓾𝓹
submitted by MalOuija to copypasta [link] [comments]

What if... One-club men lived forever

The year is 2017. Top scientists have finally cracked the ability to stop ageing, and the world rejoices. The discovery prompts an immediate FIFA investigation into exactly what this means for world football from now on. How will the careers come and go when every team can just preserve their best stars? How will the next Messi break through? The Qatar FA suggest restricting it to only Qatari players, a motion that's only narrowly defeated. In unrelated news, a bunch of mysterious Qatari bank accounts are seized the day before the vote. Eventually, a compromise is decided upon between. Only those players who’ve proven themselves to be in it for the sport, and their team, can use it. The players who have stuck with their team through thick and thin, who’ve turned down bigger money offers to stay where they are. One-Club Men. However, should their loyalty ever waiver, and they choose to leave, those players will lose their right to an everlasting career, and have to face the advance years once again. Who will remain loyal the longest? Who will ride out the lowest of lows to stay at their lifelong club?
Unfortunately for those of you hoping I’ve found a secret miracle, that’s just the best nonsense I could come up with to frame this scenario. In less dramatic terms, using FM 2017, I'm going to select 50 one-club men from the top 5 leagues and de-age them to around 22. Every 5 years I'll de-age them down to 22 again, unless they abandon their loyalty. I'll also be adjusting everyone's contract to expire in 2020 to make it equal, and undoing international retirements where necessary. Nothing overly complicated, but I’m expecting this one to run a long long time if I’m going to have everyone leave, so I’m good with it not being too complicated.
Reddit side note! It's me again. Some may remember my experiments from ages ago. I'm back and writing again, but as you can probably tell, with a new name and website. If you want to see this post with much better formatting, all the images, and everyone's profile at the end, go here to read it in full: link You can stay here if you prefer though!
So who actually qualifies for this? I've restricted it to players from the Top 5 leagues of England, Italy, Spain, Germany and France, and only included those that have been at their clubs the longest. As well as the genuine candidates like Messi and Totti, loaned out players like Lahm qualify, as do those like Iniesta who haven't left in FM 2017, and even those that have left in-game, but are known for their careers at one club. Buffon is a good example of the latter. I've included a link to an image with all 5 players here: link
With all this loyalty around, I wanted to mix it up a bit by adding in one final player. Someone completely opposite to everyone picked so far, the anti-one-club man, the journeyman of all journeymen. And after some research, I came up with the perfect candidate. Sebastián Abreu, a man who in his career has played at an impressive 29 different teams in 11 different countries, setting a Guinness world record along the way. Abreu will receive the same treatment as the loyal players, except it won’t stop when he moves team. I want him to move around more, spread his wings, see how many teams he can collect over an illustrious career.
That’s enough explaining for now. Should be pretty clear what’s going on, just a bunch of footballers never getting old. Time to get things rolling and see who eliminates themselves. Who can stick it out the longest, who will become THE one-club man?

2016/17

With our younger one club men unleashed on the world, many of them attract instant attention from new clubs. For a while it stays quiet and looks like the first transfer window may pass without incident. Only a few loans crop up... until Javi López because the first man to fall. With Espanyol not meeting his standards, he makes a £2.4M trip down the coast to join Valencia. He proves to be the only summer casualty by the time the window slams shut.
January brings the winter window, and the Premier League clubs start to sniff around, ready to throw bags of cash at unsuspecting players. It doesn’t take long before the next two players are reeled in by money and lose their eternal youth. First Marcel Schmelzer in a £20.5M move to Liverpool, followed by Bruno joining moneybags Man City. By the end of the window, Nacho also heads to the north of England, joining rivals Man United. I’m not sure if any of them have realised how damn cold it is up there. That window swiftly ends, settling the bottom 4 finishers in the competition.
Returning to the world of actual football results briefly, and there aren’t many shocks to be seen. Man City finish 6th, Everton get relegated and Borussia Mönchengladbach reach the Champions League Semi-Finals. A few players see their team relegated, as Werder Bremen, Caen and Freiburg go down, so there could be a few casualties once that disappointment has set in. But all in all, the footballing world has coped just fine.
Loyal Players Remaining: 46
Abreu Club Count: 23 clubs in 10 countries
Odd Winners: None

2017/18

With everyone’s transfer budgets warmed up, it doesn’t take long for the action to get back underway. The previous season has barely finished before Chris Solly trades in his morals for a Premier League move to Norwich. Sergio Álvarez joins him in England, making the slightly odd move to Bournemouth before a big £52M move sees Koke trade loyalty for a big move to Man City. That’s the most surprising move so far, as I expected many of the players at top clubs to stick around. The final two transfers of the window take us to sunny Spain, where both Xabi Prieto and Mario become massive glory hunters, trading in their life long clubs for Atletico Madrid and Barcelona respectively. Javi López, having left Espanyol to join Valencia last year, immediately realises his mistake and rejoins Espanyol. It’s too little too late though, his status as a one-club man is already ruined.
The winter window comes and goes without even a hint of action, so things may already be starting to quieten down. Over in Brazil, Sebastián Abreu has his contract with Bangu come to an end after a good season but fails to attract any new suitors before the European season ends.
Around the world, things keep ticking on relatively normally. Watford take a surprising FA Cup win despite finishing rock bottom of the league, meaning they’ll have European nights alongside their Championship campaign. The loyalty of Seube, Höfler and Bargfrede is rewarded, as Caen, Bremen and Freiburg are immediately promoted back to the top tier. Las Palmas head in the opposite direction, which causes David García to hand in an immediate transfer request. The Spaniard could very well be the next player to go.
Loyal Players Remaining: 41
Abreu Club Count: 23 clubs in 10 countries
Odd Winners: Watford (FA Cup)

2018/19

My suggestion that things may be quietening down is immediately disproved by the biggest move so far. Bayern Munich legend Philipp Lahm makes a huge £82M transfer to Manchester City, throwing away all he’d built up at Bayern so far. But it doesn't end there, as 2 more huge transfers are finalised right after. First Claudio Marchisio drops Juventus, clearly not happy with them losing the title to AC Milan, and moves to Real Madrid. Then Daniele De Rossi trades in Roma for Barcelona. Whilst both have moved in real life, I didn’t expect either to fall so early in this, being icons at such huge clubs. A little later, David García makes his predicted move away from relegated Las Palmas, opting to stay in Spain with Osasuna. And then on the final day of the window, one last move. David Zurutuza decides the Premier League is more to his taste and joins Noble at West Ham. Javi López continues his tour of Spain, realising rejoining Espanyol doesn’t earn him back everlasting youth, and so heads to Sevilla instead. Currently, he’s moved around more than the specific journeyman player I chose to actually move around. Talking of, Abreu does find a new contract, heading back to Uruguay to join River Plate Montevideo.
The winter transfer window is again mostly quiet, with very little potential action. There are still some transfers though, as Robin Knoche becomes the 15th person out, heading to Borussia Dortmund. Then a legend moves on, as Iker Casillas decides that barely getting any game time behind Keylor Navas isn’t worth it, and so joins Monaco for a mere £11M. I guess you can't escape the real world after all.
The summer of 2018 means a World Cup, a tournament which regularly creates bizarre results in Football Manager. This year is no exception, as the likes of Italy, Belgium and Argentina fall in the group stages, before South Korea beat both Germany and France in the knockouts. The final between Brazil and Croatia proves 100% less heartbreaking than the real 2018 final for the Croatians, as they become champions of the world. In domestic football, Man United take all the English trophies on offer in a Quadruple, whilst Freiburg find themselves relegated yet again, as do Montpellier.
Loyal Players Remaining: 34
Abreu Club Count: 24 clubs in 10 countries
Odd Winners: Croatia (World Cup)

2019/20

Another season, another transfer window, another set of swirling rumours around our one-club men. Borussia Dortmund manage to steal away another of our competitors from a German rival, taking Timo Horn early in the window. Having been relegated yet again last season, Nicolas Höfler decides enough is enough and leaves Freiburg for Hertha Berlin. Over in Italy, and Chievo Legend Sergio Pellissier finally caves, leaving his relegation-threatened lifelong team for European battlers Fiorentina. But that's all the entertainment I can offer, no big signings this time around I’m afraid. Let's go see what Javi López is up to instead. His merry-go-round of clubs continues yet again, moving over to Deportivo de La Coruña in the latest of his ever-decreasing value of transfers.
January retains its typical bleak and dull atmosphere, with no sign of action whatsoever until the final day of the window. Hugo Mallo decides to try and add to his trophy cabinet and heads to Man United. Not the worst career move to throw away eternal life for considering their dominance right now. And with his departure, the total number of players that we've lost hits a nice round 20.
In the Premier League, Man United claim their 4th title in a row, exerting total dominance over everyone. But where one dominance rises, another falls, with Dortmund claiming the Bundesliga to knock Bayern off their perch. The shock of the season comes in the Coupe de France, where 3rd tier LB Châteauroux knock out Lyon, Auxerre and PSG before falling to Caen in the semi-finals. With Monaco having fallen to 4th tier SA Spinalien, Caen beat an easier opposition of RC Lens in the final, leading to Seube lifting the teams first-ever Coupe de France. Not bad for a player I expected to never lift a trophy. On a less joyous note, Höfler having left relegated Freiburg, sees his new team Hertha relegated immediately too. It seems there is no escaping the 2. Bundesliga!
On the record front, Gianluigi Buffon sets a huge benchmark, breaking the 200 cap mark for Italy. With no-one else close to him, he’ll stay the leader for a long time. Messi also breaks a boundary, climbing through 400 league goals during his career at Barcelona. Like Buffon, he’s way clear of any competitor, and unless a miracle happens that sees him abandon Barcelona, I can’t see anyone catching him soon.
Loyal Players Remaining: 30
Abreu Club Count: 24 clubs in 10 countries
Odd Winners: Caen (Coupe de France)

2020/21

2020 arrives, and with it, two important points arrive too. Firstly, everyone gets de-aged for the first time in this experiment. The 20 that have left get to watch from a distance thinking about what could have been. Second, the initial contracts are set to expire, so anyone that hasn’t re-signed will out the door. Which is exactly what happens to Víctor Valdés. Having barely appeared for Barcelona since his return, he leaves the club on a free and heads to the southern French coast to join Marseille. A day later and someone else leaves France, as Romain Danzé who decides one de-ageing is enough and moves to Schalke. Tony Hibbert also struggled for games at Everton despite his new youthful look, and so he walks out the door. He opts for Aston Villa, who to my great surprise have sunk to a mid-table League 1 team. Feeling left out, Spain joins in, with Oier Sanjurjo departing Osasuna and moving to Villarreal. The window is then capped by a bizarre final free transfer. Despite appearing regularly, Xavi isn’t offered a new contract by Barcelona. Man City can’t quite believe their luck and snap up the Spanish wizard a few days before the window shuts.
Winter brings with it just one transfer in its usual action-heavy way. Roberto Torres leaves Osasuna, making a £35.5M switch to Atletico. I’m not sure whether Atletico thought they were getting a different de-aged Torres because that can only be described as an overpayment. Either way, that means we've now lost over half the competitors.
Euro 2020 passes, and Croatia prove their World Cup victory was no fluke, becoming both champions of the World, and champions of Europe. On the Continental front, things have been fairly predictable so far, at least until this years Europa League. Hoffenheim escape a tough group and go all the way to win the entire thing. Not bad for a team that barely qualified in the first place. Oh, and Messi wins a little thing called the Ballon d’Or for the 10th time. I think he’s only just getting started.
Loyal Players Remaining: 24
Abreu Club Count: 24 clubs in 10 countries
Odd Winners: Hoffenheim (Europa League)

2021/22

The 21/22 season begins with two transfers on the first day. Loïc Perrin makes his way to the Premier League to join Leicester. But that's a minor splash compared to the other move, as after 768 appearances and 302 goals, Francesco Totti leaves Roma. It seems wrong to see it, but he’ll now be wearing a Man United kit. Dortmund continue their run of stealing loyalty, this time bringing Tony Jantschke into the fold. Another contract is run to the end, forcing Álex Bergantiños out of Deportivo without much choice, before being picked up by Cagliari. Mikel González opts to end his time at Real Sociedad, joining Pellissier over at Fiorentina. And as August comes to a close, it looks like Totti may be the only big departure. That is until Gianluigi Buffon decides to call time on his Juventus career. It’s an odd move, with the legend going sorta sideways from a regular starting Juventus spot to Bayern Munich. But there’s no going back now, as his 636 league appearance career with the Italians comes to a close. Two legends down in one window.
No season is complete without a single winter signing to warrant an entire separate paragraph, and this season is no different. Sergi Roberto moves away from Barcelona, in a £24M move to French giants PSG. A good way to guarantee yourself plenty of titles I guess. Abreu also makes a winter move, adding Guarani in the Brasilian second tier to his collection.
Roberto’s decision proves to be a good one, as PSG go on to claim their 10th one in a row. Not many surprises elsewhere, although Real Oviedo get close to pulling off a shock in the Copa del Rey. The second tier team beat Osasuna, Barcelona and Sevilla on the way to the final, but ultimately Real Madrid prove a step too far. Elsewhere everything is won by a team you’d probably expect. Exciting stuff.
Loyal Players Remaining: 17
Abreu Club Count: 25 clubs in 10 countries
Odd Winners: None

2022/23

With the pool of players rapidly decreasing, very few of the crew are even wanted by other clubs anymore. Perhaps deterred by their steadfast loyalty? A few moves do still happen though, so we’re not dead yet. Firstly Anthony Lopes gets fed up of PSG dominating his league and moves to AC Milan for a better shot at a trophy. It’s not long before that story is forgotten, as the biggest transfer fee in the competition so far is dropped. Andrés Iniesta is stolen away from Barcelona, in a huge £86M move to Man United. The midfield maestro fell 2 appearances short of 600 league games for Barcelona, but with his new £300K per-week contract it’s not hard to guess why. That proves to be all the action for the summer window, with no-one willing to top that huge move.
After half a season of hearing their noisy neighbours gloating about their star signing, Man City snap. And if there’s one thing City are good at, it’s splashing the cash. In probably the easiest negotiation over fee Barcelona has ever had, Sergio Busquets makes a £95M move to the sky blues. Yeh, that’ll show United. Once again no-one wants to get in the middle of the awkward Manchester squabble, and the winter transfer closes with a whimper.
The second World Cup of this experiment comes and goes. This time all the giants make it safely through the Group Stages, but it’s Africa that really excels. Morocco make the knockouts, Egypt battle through to the Quarter Finals, but Nigeria come out best. They beat South Korea and Argentina before falling valiantly to France in the Semi-Finals. A 1-0 victory of Italy does see them finish in an impressive 3rd place, becoming the first African team to finish in the top 3 of the World Cup. France win the title on penalties after a deceivingly action-filled 0-0 draw with Spain. The domestic scene follows that with a similar lack of real shocks. In the Carabao Cup, Bournemouth beat Arsenal, Chelsea and Man United on the way to lifting the trophy. But it’s the lesser Cup, so outside of Bournemouth no-one really cares. PSG finally have their grip on the Ligue 1 broken, as Casillas leads Monaco to a fantastic title. Otherwise, all the league titles and cups fall to teams you’d expect them too. Another thrilling year.
Loyal Players Remaining: 14
Abreu Club Count: 25 clubs in 10 countries
Odd Winners: Bournemouth (Carabao Cup)

2023/24

Literally nothing happens. Thomas Kessler decides that no team can ignore his existence for 20 seasons in a row and get away with it, leaving Köln to join Trabzonspor. So as I said, literally nothing happens. Even Javi López moving to yet another club would be more interesting than that.
The same applies to the footballing season. Asides from Casillas captaining Monaco to a Champions League title, or Atletico winning the title again, exactly 10 years after their last win, everything is frustratingly normal. And even those two events are hardly shocks.
Before I start to lose hope, there are a few interesting moves over the last few years from the losing group that are worth highlighting. First season mover Bruno didn’t make the impact he hoped and found himself moving to the lovely Stoke. Robin Knoche barely received any playtime at Dortmund and found himself cast out to Dinamo Zagreb. Even in League 1, Tony Hibbert could barely get any game time at Villa and so moved on the Scunthorpe in League 2. But the winner of the oddest move has to be Zurutuza, who somehow manage to pull off a move to Liverpool after West Ham found themselves relegated, only make a few disappointing performances, before being released on a free to join Al-Arabi in Qatar. Not quite the career he was anticipating when joining the Premier League I bet.
Loyal Players Remaining: 13
Abreu Club Count: 25 clubs in 10 countries
Odd Winners: None

2024/25

The summer transfer window arrives for another season, and with it finally comes a huge deal! Javi López has found yet another club! Hooray! As for actual competitors, absolutely no movement whatsoever. Even from Abreu, who’s been at Guarani for 2.5 years now. Manceau, Lewington and Seube complain to their managers about playing time or relegation, but none of them actually make a move anywhere. So our final 13 will add another 5 years onto their career length.
There are some fun statistics from our 51 worth mentioning at this point. Buffon leads the way with both total league appearances (935) and international caps (259). His caps are at a point where they’re too high for the game to display, as the value is stored as an unsigned 8-bit integer, and so has rolled over to just show 3. Most appearances for a single club goes to Dean Lewington however, who thanks to being a regular sits at 857 league appearances for the MK Dons (or 889 if you include Wimbledon). In the goals department, the winner is obvious. With almost 500 league goals, 100 international goals and 14 Ballon d’Or awards, Messi sits on top of everyone. On the international scene, he’s run close by Müller and the fast-approaching Kane, but for league goals, it’s not even close.
2024 brings with it a Euro tournament, which doesn’t provide much in the way of surprises, but brings with it some exciting high scoring matches. All ending in a 4-3 victory for a Thomas Müller led Germany over neighbours Netherlands. Which I’m sure went down very well. The domestic scene decides to spring a few shocks though. In Serie A, Roma claim an impressive title thanks to main striker Iheanacho, their first since 2001. The German and French cups provide surprise winners, in the form of Hertha Berlin and Dijon. Both cap an impressive run by beating their respective league winners, Bayern and Monaco. Even the continental tournaments turn up too. First Monaco cement their place as a top power in football by winning their second Champions League in a row. That coming a week after the best win there could possibly be. Tottenham win the Europa League! Screw the other stuff, that last part is all I need!
Loyal Players Remaining: 13
Abreu Club Count: 25 clubs in 10 countries
Odd Winners: Dijon (Coupe de France), Hertha Berlin (DFB Pokal)

At this point though it’s fair to say that the competition results are more interesting than the movements of the players. Which is the perfect signal that things need to speed up a little bit. So from now on, updates will be every 5 years, which lines up perfectly with player age resets, letting us see who has made it to the next checkpoint.

2025-2030

Another round of de-ageing hits, and you’d think that would incite some interest in our final 13. Instead, it’s a ghost town. We do have an immediate dropout though, as Nicolas Seube finally gets fed up with his lack of playtime at Caen and heads for Panionios in Greece. A year later the situation is repeated. I’m not entirely sure what his unhappiness was about, but Iker Muniain decides he’s had enough of Athletic Club and moves to Hamburger SV. At least he left on exactly 100 goals for Athletic though, a nice round number. With 11 left, a standoff to reach the top 10 ensues. For 3 years no-one budges in their show of loyalty, until in 2029… Dean Lewington leaves for Derby County on a free. It’s a huge move, with Lewington becoming the first man to break through 1000 league appearances for a single club before leaving. But he’s moved on now, and it won’t be long before that record is broken. That move means we’re left with our final 10 contestants. Terry, Iraola, Messi, Susaeta, Noble, Jourdren, Müller, Kane, Manceau and Bargfrede have secured a top 10 spot, and now all that’s left to do is fight it out for number 1.
Over in Brazil, our anti-one-club man continues his journey, although it remains in Brazil for the moment. Only 2 clubs are added to his count, with a long stay at Atletico Goianiense followed by a £2M move to top tier Coritiba. I’m kind of hoping he starts to make enough waves in the Brazilian league to move to Europe and add some new countries to his history.
Those that fell before the first de-ageing are retiring, finishing off their magnificent, or in some cases very un-magnificent, careers (as losers). Javi López finishes his fine anti-loyalty tour around Spain with 7 transfers to his name. Schmelzer, Nacho, Solly, Álvarez, Koke, Mario, Prieto, Marchisio, De Rossi, David García, Zurutuza, Knoche, Höfler, Pellissier, Mallo, Horn and Hibbert end their careers. Many, such as Nacho, Horn and De Rossi stay just as committed to their new clubs as they did their old, finishing out their careers after just a single transfer. Of the pensioners, Sergio Pellissier manages to rack up the most career league appearances and goals, at 894 and 246, although that’s largely thanks to a huge head start. De Rossi dominates on the international scene, earning a whopping 197 caps over his 30-year career. Naturally, all those records will be blown out the water once the next group start retiring, but it’s nice to have some benchmarks.
Around the world, plenty has gone on worth hearing about. The Netherlands claim their first-ever World Cup win, beating Brazil in the final, whilst in the Euro’s Germany win their second tournament in a row. The Gold Cup throws up a few interesting results too, as first, the Mexico B team win it, with their A team tied up in the Confederations Cup. Then 4 years later Canada take the title, only the second time in their history. Over in Italy, Lazio find themselves relegated as the league starts to shake itself up a bit. But other than that, domestic football remains relatively unspectacular. Oh except… TOTTENHAM WINNING THE LEAGUE. Didn’t even have to reset it and we won it before Arsenal did. North London is very much Lilywhite now, suck it Gooners!
Loyal Players Remaining: 10
Abreu Club Count: 27 clubs in 10 countries
Odd Winners: Tottenham (Premier League)

2030-2035

Another 5 years pass and to start with it looks like the top 10 are going to hold firm. Eventually though, the temptation of money proves too much for one man. That man is Geoffrey Jourdren who trades in his starting slot at Montpellier for a cosy backup contract at PSG. Then comes… dead silence. Not even a rumour, or an unhappy player. No-one even hints at leaving for the next 4 years, which means we end the period with nine players on the books. The real waiting game has begun. Even our journeyman Abreu is moving in a very slow way, as a five year Coritiba stint finishes with a free transfer to Red Bull Brasil. I think my hopes for a European move have died.
At least there are a lot of retirements to run through. Bruno, Lahm, Casillas, Valdés, Danzé, Oier, Xavi, Torres, Perrin, Jantschke, Bergantiños, González, Roberto, Iniesta and Busquets hang up their playing boots. That does leave us without some noted legends, with Lahm, Casillas, Iniesta and Busquets reaching 200 caps for their country. You’d think Spain would have won more with that golden generation. Casillas and Xavi also both hit 1000 league appearances thanks to a strong head start before the experiment. But it’s Andrés Iniesta who is the most loyal of the bunch, racking up nearly 600 appearances for his original club before departing.
Five years leaves plenty of time for interesting results once again. England take a World Cup win, which is always a sign of the apocalypse, only made more bizarre by Scotland making the semi-finals in the same competition. Portugal take the other title in that period, whilst the Euros also see a surprise winner in Switzerland. France provides the biggest shock at club level, as Lille come from nowhere to win Ligue 1, and then immediately revert back to mid-table once again. Otherwise, the time belongs to Manchester City. The oil bar… sky blues take 4 out of 5 titles in both the Premier League and Champions League, with all that cash flinging finally paying off.
Loyal Players Remaining: 9
Abreu Club Count: 28 clubs in 10 countries
Odd Winners: England (World Cup), Lille (Ligue 1)

2035-40

With just nine players left, once again we get a transfer fairly early on in the period. Early as in the first transfer window, which makes me wonder why they waited so long. Anyway, Mark Noble has had his patience tested by West Ham’s yoyoing between the Premier League and Championship a bit too much and finally caves. He makes a £20M move to Burnley, who… are doing the exact same thing. Not sure that was the brightest idea. Like the previous 5 years though, one transfer is all we get. None of the others move, despite some pretty heavy unhappiness from Bargfrede and Manceau. Abreu keeps up his trail, running out his contract with Red Bull Brasil and opting for Chapecoense to reach 29 clubs in his career.
With very few moving recently, that also means less and less are retiring, as just 7 ex-competitors leave the game. Totti, Buffon, Lopes, Kessler, Seube, Muniain and Lewington call time on their football life. The fact they all stuck with it for so long means there’s so impressive stats between them. Totti racked up 1154 league appearances, with 768 at Roma. Dean Lewington, after leaving MK Dons with 1003 appearances finished with a total of 1287. Italian legend Gianluigi Buffon finished with a whopping 1307 league appearances, but perhaps more impressively, 334 international caps. But the single most surprising statistic goes to Thomas Kessler. Despite barely playing in Germany he manages to notch a grand total of 7 goals after his move to Turkey. Maybe if he’d been a striker he’d have actually played at Koln. Oh and Seube ends his career Greek. Because why not.
As per every time, a quick look around the world’s results is needed. Spain win back the World Cup titles, whilst Italy take a Euro win. Argentina, Mexico and Australia claim all their continents international trophies in the window, so no massive surprises there. The domestic world isn’t exactly littered with shocks either. Brescia win a Coppa Italia, and Nîmes Olympique grab 4 top 5 finishes in a row in France, but there’s not really much to shout about. I think it’s best to just get on with the next de-ageing.
Loyal Players Remaining: 8
Abreu Club Count: 29 clubs in 10 countries
Odd Winners: Brescia (Coppa Italia)

2040-45

Down to 8 now, so it’s getting tougher. And a lot slower, so slow in fact that not a single transfer in our group happens in five years. For a moment I was excited to see Manceau at Recreativo de Huelva, but that was just a loan. So I was back to being crushed. On the plus side, Abreu makes some huge steps. He adds not just 1, but 2 new countries to his history! The first is Portugal, in a huge step up to join Braga. As usual, it’s just until his contract ends, before he moves on to Frankfurt in the Bundesliga. He’s hardly setting Europe alight but I don’t care, he’s actually moving!
There’s only one retiree to talk about too, as pretty much everyone has already gone. Geoffrey Jourdren finishes up with 925 total league appearances. It probably could have been a bit more, if he’d not spent 10 years of his career being a backup at PSG and Bayern. On a far more interesting note, Terry breaks through 1500 career league appearances. Kane also hits 256 international goals, which results in the number resetting to 0 just like caps. So the game has him on 96 caps with 11 goals, when the actual numbers are a stunning 352 caps with 267 goals.
Having seen my disappointment last time around, the world decides to liven things up. Denmark become both Champions of the World and Champions of Europe in 2042 and 2040, although they lose the European title to Germany 4 years later. At the continental level, the Champions League stays on track, but the Europa League brings some bizarre winners into the mix. Nîmes Olympique, Real Sociedad, Leicester and Bristol City all win a trophy. It seems Mark Noble finally made a right move transferring to Bristol City, as the club is now a strong top 6 Premier League side. Manceau wins a Coupe de France at Angers, but it’s still Nîmes making waves, forming a big three with PSG and Monaco. It may not be long before either Nîmes or Bristol City win their league, which is not something I expected to be saying.
Loyal Players Remaining: 8
Abreu Club Count: 31 clubs in 12 countries
Odd Winners: Nîmes Olympique/Bristol City (Europa League), Angers (Coupe de France)

2045-50

2045 kicks off and once again Manceau deceives me. This time it’s a loan spell in Denmark with Brøndby that had me thinking he was gone. Well you know what they say, fool me once shame on you, fool me twice… I’m probably gonna fall for it. It looks like there’s going to be no moves whatsoever once again, until June 2047 arrives and I notice a contract is set to expire. Imagine my shock when Lionel Messi is not offered a contract by Barcelona and is let go. It’s made doubly worse by the fact that of all teams to pick him up, it's Atletico Madrid. Apparently, 37 Ballon d’Or awards aren’t good enough for Barcelona anymore. I don’t even care that nothing else happens. That’s enough to stun me.
Over in the retirement home, Mark Noble moves into a room. After an up and down career, the Englishman did manage some silverware with Bristol City and ended his career with 1317 league appearances. He even earned not just 1, but 90 England caps across his 44-year career.
Around the world, interesting results are still cropping up. England grab their third World Cup win beating Colombia, whilst Honduras win their first-ever Gold Cup. Much to my bitter disappointment, Arsenal win 4 of the 5 Champions Leagues on offer, as well as 3 Premier League titles. Chelsea have a period of bottom 10 finishes which deeply upsets Terry, whilst over in France, Chamois Niortais begin to try and join the top 3. Don’t worry I’ve never heard of them either.
Loyal Players Remaining: 7
Abreu Club Count: 32 clubs in 12 countries
Odd Winners: Honduras (Gold Cup)

2050-55

With the world still reeling at the fact the Messi has moved from Barcelona, everyone kinda forgets to make any moves. In fact, Messi is the first person to move yet again, leaving Atletico in a very cheap 34.5M move to Man City. Which is more in line with where I originally expected him to go. Abreu finishes one contract, at Hapoel Be’er Sheva, and moves onto the next, but it’s with Monterrey so doesn’t count. Sebastian, it has to be new clubs. John Terry is starting to get frustrated with a Chelsea team that has really fallen from grace. The Londoners barely survive relegation in 2052/53, so Terry may be the next to go. Or maybe I know nothing and it’s completely random.
No-one retires this year, so let’s take a brief look at some statistics of our remaining 7 + Messi. All our players have now reached 1000 appearances, with Bargfrede in last at 1173. Messi has crossed 1000 league goals, now a full 300 clear of the chasing pack of Abreu and Kane. On the international level, Thomas Müller becomes the first player to need a rollover of caps twice, moving on to a massive 524 international caps. But it’s Kane who still leads the international goal stat, nearly breaking 350, a full 50 ahead of the German.
Müller does, however, grab a World Cup win for Germany so I’m sure he won’t be too upset. At least until they’re deposed by Holland 4 years later. On the continental level, Bristol City win another Europa League title beating previous champions Espanyol. Middlesbrough also nearly earn a trophy, having joined Bristol as a top 6 team. But the winner of the biggest shock, although I did say this might happen, goes to Chamois Niortais, who topple the dominance of PSG and Monaco to capture a miraculous Ligue 1 title in the last season of the period.
Loyal Players Remaining: 7
Abreu Club Count: 32 clubs in 12 countries
Odd Winners: Chamois Niortais (Ligue 1), Bristol City/Espanyol (Europa League)

2055-60

The summer window of 2055 opens and as I warned may happen, there’s an almost immediate transfer. Fed up with Chelsea’s mediocre finishes, John Terry decides to move on. Unfortunately for Chelsea fans, Arsenal is his next club, which I’m sure will cause a few shudders. A year later and another move comes around, once again due to unhappiness over the club’s performance. Surprisingly it's Thomas Müller,who's annoyed by the fact that Bayern haven’t won a Bundesliga title since 2048, and so runs down his contract. Leverkusen almost earn his signature, but eventually its the glory of PSG that proves too much to resist. But we’re not done there! Another player runs down their contract, opting to move to Vitoria de Setubal in Portugal. Vincent Manceau finally makes a real move rather than constantly faking me out. So with another 3 players down, we’re left with our final 4. The race for the top 3 is hotting up now!
We do have a retirement this time thanks to the transfer window livening up. The world's best-ever player, Lionel Messi, retires from football. He ends up on a total of 1858 league appearances, scoring a massive 1068 goals in this time. 1430 appearances and 895 goals of those belonging to his 45-year career at Barcelona. On the international scene, he earned an impressive 505 caps and 276 goals. But it’s the awards where he shines. 279 individual awards, 82 team titles, 22 league titles, 6 Champions League titles, 45 Ballon d’Or awards. What makes it even crazier is 41 of those Ballon d’Or awards were in a row, as he earned every single one from 2015 to 2056. I don’t think I’ll see another player like that crop up in any save, truly the world’s best player.
Looking out on the world, I can say that it’s a Chamois Niortais player that breaks Messi’s streak, as the French team claim another two Ligue 1 titles. It’s hard to say they’re a “surprise winner” at this point. Bristol City finally make the full step up to join the big guns, winning 3 Carabao Cups, 1 FA Cup, 2 Premier League titles and even a Champions League trophy. If any Bristol City fans want this save to give themselves hope over the future, I can send it over. Internationally it's the era of Portugal, as they claim both the Euro and World Cup trophies.
Loyal Players Remaining: 4
Abreu Club Count: 32 clubs in 12 countries
Odd Winners: Bristol City (Premier League/Champions League), Lyon (Relegation)

With so few players left, now is probably a good time to speed it up once again. The final four will be tough to budge, so how about we move to 10-year intervals to try and cut down on dead years. And I'll be moving to the comments, because I've hit reddits character limit.
submitted by whatif_gaming to footballmanagergames [link] [comments]

I'mma head out

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submitted by TastyUdders to OneWordBan [link] [comments]

[Translation] Which La Liga club fits each Premier League team?

Good morning lads and lassies of soccer. To celebrate that the Bundesliga finally comes back I bring you the transcripton/translation of a pretty interesting video I had watched some time ago, related (and literally titled) "Which La Liga team fits each team of the Premier League?"
Now, I know the issue about fans that have simpathy for "second" teams is polarizing and as we all know after last year, it can become something completely vomitive, but this video is indeed trying to give fans of Spanish clubs reasons to like a particular English club, and with that said, tbh I believe at the end of the day most fans, plastic or not, do feel at least some simpathy for some clubs above others excluding their own. From the small town fan who supports their local club but also the "big" team that challenges for the league in the top division, to the Ultra that hates every club of their country that isn't his but do likes a foreign club of which he befriended their respective Ultras in the past, I'm pretty sure that most football fans do feel at least a bit of simpathy for some particular club of a foreign league.
But well, that discussion shouldn't be the topic of this. The fact is that these Spaniards of the video do like particular English clubs and to guide other similar Spaniards analyzed the situation and created this "guidebook" about which Premier League club "currently" fits each La Liga club, and that is what will be shown here.
With a last emphasis in the "currently", there's nothing else to say as preview. Just remember that these aren't my opinions and I'm only sharing what they decided.

Newcastle United & Athletic Club

Crystal Palace & Getafe

Liverpool & Real Madrid

Norwich & Valladolid

Bournemouth & Eibar

Burnley & Alaves

Sheffield United & Mallorca

Brighton & Levante

Leicester & Villarreal

Southampton & Leganés

Watford & Granada

Chelsea & Atletico Madrid

Tottenham & Sevilla

Manchester United & Valencia

Everton & Real Sociedad

Manchester City & Barcelona

West Ham & Espanyol

Wolves & Real Betis

Aston Villa & Celta de Vigo

Arsenal & Osasuna

*and that's it. Hope that you liked it as I did. Do you have any opinions about how to make this even more accurate? feel free to share them.
submitted by LordVelaryon to soccer [link] [comments]

[SF] Something something immortal guy. Working title

Hey guys. Wrote this while bored at work. Feel free to shit all over it lol. Go for the classic criticism sandwich. Yes my formatting is HOT garbage. Hope you enjoy.
The last thing you think of when you become immortal is the end. In your newfound perspective the end ceases to be a consideration. When people think about being immortal they tend to only think ahead to around the time they would have naturally died. The end you never think of is the end of the world. I gained my immortality in 1944. Now here I am 374 years later floating amongst the remains of earth. Our home. Obliterated by a planetoid larger than our moon. You couldn't imagine the chaos. The fear. Our people with all our technology, and power thought ourselves the rulers of all creation. Yet even with all that we were no more powerful than the dinosaurs before us to prevent our destruction. Even as an immortal I wasn't immune to the fear. The worst part was how long we knew it was coming. A long range satellite telescope caught a random glimpse of it moving through the stars. The first few weeks after its discovery were a mad dash by governments to keep it quiet while they tried to stop it. Every attempt failed, and then they went public two weeks before impact. There was a lot of rioting. Some people just didn't do anything. They just shut down. I didn't know if I'd survive or not, so I did my best to try to comfort those around me. A few days before impact we could all see it coming. Looming over all of us in the sky getting closer by the minute. In a last ditch effort the nations of the world came together and launched every nuclear missile we had at our disposal. What we watched that day in the skies above the earth I doubt will ever be replicated on any world. When that failed to even slow it down everything stopped. People stopped rioting, looting, and fighting. It seemed almost at once that entire world resigned itself to its fate, and gave up. Then it was just over. It made ground just off Chicago in Lake Michigan. I was standing on navy pier watching it. There were a few people who had come as well. Beyond us few the city was deserted. It flash vaporized all the water in the lake. The old couple and young man with me were both killed instantly. After that I don't know what happened. There was the most deafening noise is ever heard, and a wall of ash and fire. Then blackness. While unconscious the impact had shattered the earth. It was over when I woke up. I wondered if anyone else had survived, but quickly abandoned that thought. It's an terribly numbing sensation to realize that you are the last of your kind. It's a crushing loneliness that cannot be described. I curled into a ball and floated for a while. After a long while I decided I had to go somewhere. Over the course of my long life I had studied the stars intently. I can't even tell you how long it took me to find it, but I decided to head towards Proxima Centauri. The closest star to ours. I figured it was my best bet. So I found a piece of debris, and crouched on it then pushed off with all my might. At first I thought I was making good progress then I realized it takes a very long time for light to get from there to earth. Luckily I had spare time. As I floated farther and farther I found myself looking at where I was coming from and not where I was going. Was I being homesick, or just realizing everything I had ever known was back there? I'll tell you sometime if I ever figure it out. What I can tell you about is the view. Looking back on our solar system was a sight to behold. To steal a quote from the hitch hikers guide to the Galaxy. (Cause lets be honest. Who's gonna sue me for plagiarism.) Space is big. Really big. You just won't believe how vastly, hugely, mind bogglingly big it is. I realized that Proxima Centauri was a long ways off so I thought I should check out our solar system first, but quickly abandoned the thought. Once I very painfully made landfall on one of the 9 planets in our solar system. (I love you Pluto) I wouldn't be able to leave. Cause I'm no Matt Damon. So I'd either have to get very lucky, and find some crazy alien stuff, or wait for the planet I was on to explode in some way. Both those options weren't appealing, so I opted to keep on trucking to Proxima. I'm gonna go ahead and skip all the boring parts or you'll be reading this for the next few millions years. A few interesting things of note did happen. Seeing a comet in the night sky is always very pretty. Seeing one pass you by, by only a few dozen meters is awe inspiring/terrifying. The other discovery I made very quickly. Space for those of you readers who've not spent time in it. Is cold. Really, really, Fucking. Cold. At least the solar winds are nice and toasty. Rich with skin searing radiation. So let's run down the list of things I have. Ruined clothes Melted phone Body so cold my balls are snuggled up next to my heart. A very long trip ahead of me. One sock. Could be worse.
Let's jump ahead to me leaving the solar system. After blowing a kiss to Pluto. I continued on my trip to Proxima. Now. Let's do some math, Proxima is 4.2 light years away. Earth to the solar rim is about 9 billion miles. One light year is 5.879 x 10 to the power of 12, miles. So I'm about 4.1998 light years away. Only took me about 250 years I think. So I should be there just in time to watch the star die and collapse into a black hole. Wonder if that would actually kill me...You can kiss my ass Steven Hawking you dead genius prick. Busting holes in my very well laid out plans. I gotta think of a way to pick up speed.
I came up with a risky strategy. If I keep pumping my arms straight ahead of me in my current trajectory I should increase in speed little by little. The risk is that I could alter my angle by a few degrees, and that could mess up my approach vector for Proxima. It doesn't sound like much, but a few degrees of difference in angle across a span of light years can result in me missing by billions of miles. Well after thinking for a few days on the pros and cons of my new plan I decided to give it a shot. With very calculated pumps in slow succession I made sure to keep my eyes on my target. With nothing to use as a reference I really didn't know if my plan was working. I'll just say it did. Kinda. I eventually worked myself up to the speed that voyager was moving at. Which is pretty damn fast. Again, kinda. It would still take millions of years to get to Proxima. My only hope was to get picked up by something or crash on some rock with intelligent life on it.
Turns out the scientists back in the 20teens were right. There was in fact a 10th planet in the solar system. It was just a lot lot farther out than they thought. I immediately changed course and aimed for this planet. I'll be honest. In all the science fiction movies, video games, and books I've seen in my life I gotta tell you this was the most foreboding planet I've ever seen. It was black. But it was an unnatural black. The kind of black you put on something you don't want to be found. I glided in silence towards the planet lost in thought. What would I find there? Life? Ruins? Would they be friendly aliens? I know that since it's their planet I'm technically the alien but shut up its my story. As I moved towards it it dawned on me how immense the planet was. By 2120 civilian space flights were pretty common, so I've seen the earth from space. This planet was massive. Dozens if not hundreds of times the size of earth. Finally after what felt like forever I could feel myself being pulled towards the planet. It didn't occur to me until about ten seconds before I hit it that this planet might have an atmosphere. Then I hit it. Hard. All my possessions burned off. My phone, shirt, pants, even my precious sock. Falling out of the sky stark naked at terminal velocity. Not as fun as it sounds. Once I cleared the black skies I was blown away by the amount of lights, and buildings I was seeing. I was so happy. Finally I'd be able to come into contact with someone, or something. That something turned out to be the ground. One splitting headache, and quick climb out of my crater later, I took the time to look around. I walked around for a bit and didn't see anyone. The buildings were pretty pristine. Was everyone on a lunch break? Maybe I can get them to come to me? I yelled as loud as I could a couple of times, but nothing. It was unsettling to say the least. All the buildings stretched way into the sky, so maybe no one lived on the ground anymore? I think there was a cartoon like that a long time ago. Anyway. I picked a building at random and went inside. The doors wouldn't open at first. It took me some time to wiggle them open. As soon as a crack opened a gust of air blew out whipping the doors open and knocking me on my ass. Swearing as I picked myself up I took a step inside. And no it's not what you were thinking. No dead bodies that have been in there for years and years. It was empty. And clean as a whistle. I walked around looking for anything familiar when I found a trio of doors next to each other with tubes rising above them into the ceiling. Raising my hopes thinking they would work I hit a button. To my great delight stuff happened! So that's a win for me today. It took about 15 minutes for it to arrive but there it was. An elevator. The buttons looked familiar enough so I pushed the one that I guessed would be the penthouse. The elevator rose quickly, but I knew it would be a while so for the first time in a few hundred years I sat down. And god damn did it feel good. I realized as I sat down that i was still naked. Kinda forgot about that. New mission. Find, or make clothes. Don't want humanities first contact to go south due to errant dick.
I hit a random button stopping the elevator a few floors short of the top. Again, nobody was there. But there was furniture. I think? It was growing out of the ground like it was molded from the floor. Weird organic shapes. But sitting proved easy enough. The seats were enormous. Way larger than I could ever hope to accommodate. But if there's seats they must have been organic life right? I can't imagine machines lounging around, so my spirits rose. Now if only I could find any of these guys. I hope these guys had curtains or something. I'm getting tired of being naked, and my butts cold. I'm hungry, but at least I don't have to worry about starving. Success! I found clothes. Hopefully. I think it might be some sort of battle suit or something. It's a jet black liquid that was suspended in a clear tube. Every other tube was empty except for this, a very sinister black, and purple one. When I touched the glass it slowly moved towards my hand. I didn't seem evil in its movement. It moved with a sense of want. Like it wanted companionship. Well I hit buttons below the tube till it opened and the black stuff slid onto the floor without a sound. I crouched down, and reached out to touch it. It mirrored my movements exactly. It felt soft. Softer than anything I've encountered. As soon as I touched it ran up my arm, quickly spread over my body. I didn't really panic since it couldn't suffocate me, so I just let it do what it was going to do. It slowly wrapped around my head, and once it had a full seal on me parts of it started to harden and change shape. The shoulders bulged up and out. My legs became almost completely covered in what seemed like armor. It was pretty awesome to watch. The not so awesome part was the pressure I was starting to feel pressing in on my boys. It started to crush me, and when I started to beg the suit to stop while sounding like a soprano singer it relaxed. After everything had settled I decided to test out the suit. It moves with me really well. Like it's not even there. I feel more capable with this thing. Powerful even. I quickly discovered I could run faster, jump higher, and was much stronger. Felt like those PF Flyers I wore as a kid. Now that I had some clothes on I popped back into the elevator and headed to the top. The door opened and there was a barricade. After moving the stuff out of the way I wandered into the room to find no one. Which is confusing the hell out of me. Why barricade the way in to protect no one. And no one before me has made an attempt to get through the barricade. I explored the floor. Mostly one big hallway so far, but I'm not seeing any signs of a struggle. No broken windows. No holes in the walls. Zip. What were these people trying to keep out. I found another much sturdier barricade at the end of the hallway. Took a while to make a hole in it. I'd never be able to without the suit. On the other side there was a massive atrium. It had to be the size of a football stadium. It was completely empty except for something in the middle. After jogging towards it for a few minutes I realized what it was. Bodies. A big pile of bodies. Torn up, gnawed on bodies. Then I realized the barricades weren't about keeping something out. But keeping it in. I started to go back for the entrance when I started hearing thunder. I stopped for an instant when the hud of my suit blasted me with a warning. Before I could finish reading it I found myself flying through the air and slamming into the wall with enough force to be embedded into it. I should remind you that I was close to the center of the ring. I flew a good 300 yards into a wall. I never even saw what hit me. But it was ungodly strong. I pried myself free from the wall just in time to see what hit me.
I'm not a xenobiologist, but I know that this thing wasn't natural. Something seriously deformed this thing. Being immortal pretty much tosses fear out the window. In my entire life I've never known this kind of fear. The creature was tall. At least 12 feet tall. It was horribly deformed. Bones were jutting out of it all over its body. It didn't have eyes. None that I could see. It looked like it grew a couple sizes very quickly and the seams just popped while staying alive. It roared again and again. I know the sound of pain when I hear it. This creature wasn't happy about its current state. Part of me wanted to help the beast, but the very large pile of broken shredded bodies told me that wasn't super likely to happen. I'm gonna have to think about this for a minute.
I'm fucked. That's my breakdown on this situation. Fucked.
I've tried to leave three times only to find myself leaving new me shaped holes in the walls. After that I tried to approach the beast. New hole. Back away to the wall, meet opposite wall. So far the only action that doesn't get me flying lessons is sitting still. I've been here for 2 days, and I gotta say. This planet isn't winning any favors from me. I'm getting annoyed prying myself out of the damn wall. I may be immortal but shit still hurts. The creature hasn't moved an inch since it last hit me. It's currently about 400 yards away glaring at me. I think. No eyes makes it hard to tell. Anyway. I think I'm gonna do what my uncle did when he got drunk. Yell incoherent shit, and hope it pans out. I stood up, and started walking slowly towards the beast. The beast, being the jerk off that it is roared and rushed to reintroduce me to the wall. I kept my pace, and when the creature was 20 meters from me I started yelling. "STOP!!" I bellowed as loud as I could. The creature thundered to a halt right in front of me. Head inches from mine. "That's better. No more hitting you hear me!?" No response. "Well at least you didn't hit me. Ok. What we are going to do now is I'm going to cross this room and find out who that pile of horribleness is. Ok?" Again. No response. I'll take that as an 'yes', so let's get going" I took my first step, and nothing happened. Step two, nothing. I got all the way to step 33 when there was a flash, and I woke up face down a few inches into the floor. "Ok. That's fucking it." I pulled myself upright. Looked over at the creature. It was about 12 yards away. Judging by the groove in the floor it hit me in the back of the head, and I skidded along the ground coming to a halt in my crater for nap time. "Hope you're proud of yourself big guy, because now I'm gonna take it out of your ass." I started sprinting towards the beast. If this thing can die then I'll win. No matter how long it takes I will outlast it. The beast was on me in a matter of seconds. It leapt into the air one arm cocked back, ready to crush me with crazed fervor. I jumped towards it, cannonballing straight into its gut at full speed. I heard the grunt of pain come out of it with satisfaction. Before I could celebrate however it's mighty arms wrapped around me. It turned in mid air, and with all its strength and weight; drove me into the ground. I gasped in pain as the air was forced out of me. It then grabbed my ankle and tossed me like a garbage bag. I slammed into wall hard enough I bounced out of my crater. Picking myself up i could see the creature getting ready to charge. I shouted at my my suit. "Cmon! It's coming! I need a weapon!"
PROCESSING... WEAPONS ACTIVATED... WARNING! AMMUNITION DEPLETED.... WEAPONS RESTRICTED TO SWORD, GLAIVE, SPEAR... "Fine whatever just give me the spear!!!"
-SPEAR ACTIVATED-
Suddenly a spear started forming on my arm. At least a foot long pole did. As soon as I pulled it off of my forearm it extended to the perfect length for me. The tip turned into a wicked point. Even being immortal I wanted no part of that blade touching me. Quickie interruption. In case you're wondering. Over my long life I took up the age old art of "hit stuff really hard." Ive master several disciplines, and many weapons. It's pretty easy when you have multiple lifetimes to work on it. But over that entire time, I gravitated to one weapon above all others. And that my dear readers. Is the spear. I now return you to your regularly scheduled programming. Enjoy the show.
This time with more confidence I charged the beast again. It snarled in rage at my refusal to die like the rest of its visitors. It punched two neat craters into the ground before charging me. As it entered striking distance I pole vaulted over the creature, and swiped a great slash down its back. Bright blue congealed blood oozed out of its wound as it howled in agony. I snapped out my spear sending the blade deep into its shoulder. Twisting the shaft I widened the wound preventing it from closing. The beast was defenseless under my onslaught. The blade danced around me as I cut, stabbed, and slashed countless wounds into the creature. Blood pooled at its feet, but I couldn't deal a killing blow. The bones protruding all over its body prevented my spear hitting its final mark. I'd have to bleed the creature dry. While readying my spear for another thrust, with speed I thought no longer possible its fist came fast and low, crashing into my chest; rocketing me across the room into the wall. I lost my spear as I was flying. Pulling myself from the wall I began frantically searching for it, before spotting it almost midway between the two of us. "Really?.... Seriously. Fuck this planet." "Suit. If you can hear me. I need speed. All you can give me. I have to get to that spear before that thing." -PROCESSING- -SPEED INCREASED TO MAXIMUM ALLOWANCE- The suit changed around me. I could feel it making my legs stronger. Longer. Better suited for high speed. "Oh ho ho. I am never taking this thing off!" As I pressed off with my foot I felt the ground crack, and splinter under the new force of my speed. I was almost passing the spear before I realized where I was. I grabbed the spear, and held it tight. Thinking of a plan. The beast was stunned by my newfound abilities as well, it's head tilted towards one side as it stared at me. It quickly regained its composure, and set off once again to try and kill me. But with my new speed it was no match. If I couldn't cut through its bone I'll have to punch through it. I willed the suits strength into my arm, and threw the spear as hard as I could muster. Spinning as it flew the missile was a blur in the air. It slammed into the beast's chest as it ran at full speed. Combined with the spears speed the bones protecting its chest gave way as if it were tinfoil. The blade pushed out of its back, and with a gurgling growl; the beast slumped to the ground on its side. Lifeless. Panting hard I dropped to my knees and threw my fists into the air in victory. "YES! No more hitting the god dammed wall!!!" I fell back and relaxed for the first time in days. Laying down I took in just how amazing this suit is. I think I might have survived even without being immortal. The impacts definitely hurt, but I know it was much less intense than it should have been. With that moment passed I hauled myself onto my feet, and went to retrieve my weapon. With a quick grunt of effort I pulled the spear free. Placing it against my arm the shaft shortened, and sank back into the black material. "So cool. Alright now. Time to check out this pile of shit that started this mess."
The pile had been there a while. There wasn't much to discern from the bodies. They were all mangled beyond my ability to mentally put them together in any sensible way. What I could figure out is that this species was tall, has 2, or 4 arms. They also unlike the beast sported 2 sunken eyes. Perhaps the creatures mutation spread grew bone over the eyes? They didn't seem to wear any clothes, but then I noticed they are all modified in some ways. Some have hands replaced with mechanical ones designed for combat, while others have they're entire heads replaced with improved optical capabilities, and I'm guessing improved cognitive functions. The biggest one was the most modified. All but it's head had been replaced. It's chest was caved in, but it was easy to tell that it was once very formidable armor. In all honesty this looks like a combat squad. There's about 8 of them. The ring area was not pristine when I got here either. My guess is this creature was lured here, and while this team was trying to kill it whilst others barricaded the hallways out, presumably before moving to the higher floors. That might be what happened here. These creatures arrived, and moved up the buildings driving people higher, and higher as they evacuated. But that didn't make sense. The lobby was utterly unmarked. If I were defending a building, you hold the entrance while the others escape upwards. "Well there's only one way to find out. Back to the elevator." Once back into the elevator I pushed for the top floor. As it started to rise it dawned on me that any survivors running from that beast might not be happy about the elevator going up. "Spear" I said quietly, and the spear unfolded once more from my arm. I stepped to one side of the doors for good measure. The elevator glided to a silent stop, and the doors slid open. Well no gunfire, so that's a plus. But momma didn't raise no fool children. I stuck my hand out, and instantly pulled it back in after a gunshot rang out, a split second later my yelp of pain followed. The armor caught the bullet, but God dammit that hurt! Plus side. At least I'm not alone. Let's hope these trigger happy guys speak English. "Hold your fire!! Friendly!! I'm not that beast!" That's what I said anyway. What came out of the suit was pure gibberish. "Oh god if you're translating, please be translating properly." More gibberish rang out from the hall. Suddenly a voice rang out in my head. "Where is the creature?!" Gotta tell ya. Hearing a voice in your head that doesn't sound like you is trippy. "Dead" I called out. "I fought it for 2 days before spearing it through the heart." I held the spear out into the doorway wiggling it for emphasis. "You lie!" The voice hissed. "Our best warriors fell to the beast." "You mean a few floors down in the big room?" A flurry of voices rose up. "He saw the room, and made it out! He must have killed it!" Said one. "Lies" called the first. "It's more likely this creature saw the beast and fled before it could reach him" I decided to interrupt. The past few hundred years of being utterly alone gnawed at my patience until it was at an all time low. I wanted to talk to someone, and not get thrown into the wall for my troubles. "Listen. I will take you down there. We can both put our weapons down, and see for ourselves. Deal?" The murmuring intensified. "Fine the voice called out, but if you lie, you are dead where you stand." Buddy if only you knew.
A shadow entered the elevator. Quickly followed by a towering figure. Easily 10 feet tall. The man thingy had dark blue skin. Almost black out of the light. It looked down on me. It's deep eyes studying me. It's eyes were spectacular to look at. I found myself staring. They were jet black, but with white light swirling within them. It introduced itself. "I am Forsciun Xelalmos" (For-she-un Ze-lal-mos) of the Shalore people. Who are you?" I steadied myself. "I am Connor Flamewright. A human from the now destroyed planet earth. The third planet of this system. I am the last of my kind." "We know of this planet. We've tried to communicate, but our calls went unanswered. What happened to it?" It was hard to know where to begin. I hadn't thought about it at all in at least 200 years. "It was hit by a planetoid larger than our moon. We tried all measures to stop it, but nothing worked." "And how did you survive where your kin did not?" "An accident long ago left me immortal. Are you familiar with this word? Immortal?" Forsciun nodded. "I take it this was how you killed the beast?" I nodded. "It was very strong, but with my immortality, and this suit I found, I was able to overcome the beast." Forsciun put his hand to his chin thoughtfully. Then he stepped into the elevator, and pressed the button for the floor I just left. "Show me. If you speak the truth we have much to discuss." I twirled the spear, and slid it back into my arm. "Alright then." The elevator descended in silence for what seemed like eternity before Forsciun spoke. "This suit is of our technology. How is it you are able to use it?" I looked down at the suit, and began to wonder that myself. "I found it by itself in a tube. It seemed to like me, or desired to be used, and after drifting through space for close to a thousand years then free falling naked onto your planet. I just wanted to find some clothes."
We stood in silence the remainder of the ride down. I wasn’t sure what Forsciun was thinking, but I’m sure he was working out how to kill me if I was lying. Whatever happened to these people, it had left them with extremely cautious of the unknown. Once we reached the floor the beast was on I led the way through the barricades towards the atrium. Once we reached the opening I pointed out the remains of the beast. Forsciun couldn’t believe it. He sprinted forwards reaching the dead brute quickly. After examining it in silence he began to survey the room, taking in all the holes in the walls and floor that the creature so generously helped me make. “How long were you here with it?” “Just over 3 days.” He nodded thoughtfully. “These creatures are extremely dangerous. They drove us up our towers away from the streets. Once trapped at the top we were cut off from the rest of our people. We don’t know how many of us are left.” “I wandered the streets for some time calling out. I never heard, or saw anyone.” Forsciun shook his head sorrowfully. “That does not bode well. We managed to kill some of these things, but they were so resistant to our weapons. As if designed to be our destruction.” I could feel his pain, and understood his feeling of helplessness. Wanting nothing more than to save your people, but being powerless to do so. I wanted to help him, and his people. “Do you think if we spread the word of how I killed it we could help save the people still living?” “Possibly.” he murmured. “Not all of my people are warriors. The majority of our military is gone. We used to be able to see the fighting from the windows. Explosions in the distance. Fighting in the streets.” He trailed off. “It’s been some time since we’ve seen that. They either retreated, or were wiped out.” I activated my spear and pounded the pommel on the ground. “We’ll find your people. And slaughter these creatures wherever we find them.” Forsciun lifted his head, and stood straighter. “Thank you earther. For too long I have been concerned only with survival. I had long since given up the notion of being able to save my people. We need to go, and gather my men. We will push the next tower!”
As we returned to the elevator I began to ask Xelalmos about this world, and his people. I discovered that Forsciun was in fact not a name but a title. It meant commander. I high ranking member of their military. “We call this world Krionis, but it is not our home world. Our home world Shalore was located in what your people referred to as the Triangulum Galaxy. We spread far and wide across the galaxy. We held sway over the cosmos. We thought ourselves the rulers of all creation.” He shook his head disapprovingly. “The universe as it turns out. Enjoys putting people in its place. We were settling a new world when we encountered a virus. A long hibernating virus. By the time the first people started to die. It had already spread across the galaxy. A quarantine was set around Shalore. No vessel was allowed to enter within 30 light-seconds of the planet. Many tried to escape the virus by returning to our home, but all were destroyed. In the end our leaders decided that all of our kind that lived on Shalore would be put into stasis, and sent out among the stars. To colonize new galaxies. Our ship brought my ancestors here. To the edge of this galaxy. As we left Triangulum we received news that the blockade was broken, and the planet fell. Our ships would be the last of our kind. That was over 200 million years ago. We reached this planet, and quickly adapted it to our needs. But the universe was not through with us. 20 years ago these creatures started falling from the skies. Devouring, and destroying my people. Which brings us full circle.”
The elevator beeped and the doors to the top floor opened. “That’s a hell over a story. I’m sorry to hear the story of your people.” Then it dawned on me. “Wait a minute. How do you know what we call the galaxies?” “As I mentioned earlier. We’ve known of your existence for some time. In our attempts to make contact we learned much of your people. You were a prosperous people. You advance with a pace not often seen in the universe. Given a few thousand years, and your people would have been a power to behold.” My head hung low. “Would have.” I said to myself. The human race was essentially extinct. I would I guess last forever, until something finally wiped me from existence. At least I would be able to tell the stories of my world, and travel the cosmos letting all know of my people. That was a small comfort. Xelalmos put his hand on my shoulder. “Worry not Con Nor. There is battle ahead. We must prepare. Come. Meet my men.” He moved ahead of me, and walked towards his men. The one I would learn to know as Keez glared at me the entire time Xelalmos explained what he saw, and the coming plan. His team consisted of 4 Including himself. Xelalmos would lead, his second in command Niivu welcomed me congratulating me on my kill. If his commander trusted me, that was enough for him. That left their doctor, Marq. When they said his name I assumed they were having fun with me. They didn’t believe me when I said “mark” was an common name on earth. Marq assured me that it was indeed his name. Finally we come to my biggest fan Keez. Keez was what they called an Arcturant. Basically a walking fortress. Covered in thick armor with heavy weapons mounted on his shoulders. Fearless devastating, and a personality to match.
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Premier League players to replace names with 'Black Lives Matter' on shirts for first 12 games of restart

This is the best tl;dr I could make, original reduced by 66%. (I'm a bot)
Premier League players will have their names replaced by 'Black Lives Matter' on their shirts for the first 12 games of the resumed 2019/20 season.
The Premier League says it will support players who take a knee before or during matches.
The Premier League said it stands alongside the Football Association, English Football League, Professional Footballers' Association, League Managers' Association and the Professional Game Match Officials Board in opposing discrimination in all its forms.
Athletes from many different sports have joined the protests, including Premier League teams, with Arsenal wearing Black Lives Matter shirts ahead of a friendly against Brentford, while numerous clubs have taken a knee during training sessions as they prepare for the league's resumption.
The English Football League will be back in action next weekend and the players will be expressing their gratitude to the NHS workers who have been so important to the country during the virus outbreak.
"A statement read:"Sky Bet Championship, League One and League Two Play-Off Clubs will come together next weekend to recognise the brave efforts of our NHS key workers, who have continued to support our wider communities throughout the coronavirus pandemic.
Summary Source | FAQ | Feedback | Top keywords: League#1 player#2 Premier#3 Black#4 clubs#5
Post found in /worldnews.
NOTICE: This thread is for discussing the submission topic. Please do not discuss the concept of the autotldr bot here.
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[The Athletic] Rebooted: When Murdoch tried to buy Manchester United

[ Removed by reddit in response to a copyright notice. ]
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I am about to post the 3000 most common words in the English lexicon. Wish me luck...

a abandon ability able abortion about above abroad absence absolute absolutely absorb abuse academic accept access accident accompany accomplish according account accurate accuse achieve achievement acid acknowledge acquire across act action active activist activity actor actress actual actually ad adapt add addition additional address adequate adjust adjustment administration administrator admire admission admit adolescent adopt adult advance advanced advantage adventure advertising advice advise adviser advocate affair affect afford afraid African African-American after afternoon again against age agency agenda agent aggressive ago agree agreement agricultural ah ahead aid aide AIDS aim air aircraft airline airport album alcohol alive all alliance allow ally almost alone along already also alter alternative although always AM amazing American among amount analysis analyst analyze ancient and anger angle angry animal anniversary announce annual another answer anticipate anxiety any anybody anymore anyone anything anyway anywhere apart apartment apparent apparently appeal appear appearance apple application apply appoint appointment appreciate approach appropriate approval approve approximately Arab architect area argue argument arise arm armed army around arrange arrangement arrest arrival arrive art article artist artistic as Asian aside ask asleep aspect assault assert assess assessment asset assign assignment assist assistance assistant associate association assume assumption assure at athlete athletic atmosphere attach attack attempt attend attention attitude attorney attract attractive attribute audience author authority auto available average avoid award aware awareness away awful baby back background bad badly bag bake balance ball ban band bank bar barely barrel barrier base baseball basic basically basis basket basketball bathroom battery battle be beach bean bear beat beautiful beauty because become bed bedroom beer before begin beginning behavior 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